Hatred of A team

I don't know where it began, Maybe when i noticed that Larry Bird was quite possibly the ugliest person who ever existed or that a team with no dance team and just men bonding in the stands wasn't exactly the heterosexual experience I could follow, but throughout my life one thing has been made abundantly clear, I cannot and I repeat I cannot stand the Celtics in any shape form or fashion.
Fortunately through the help of Chris Ford, ML Carr and the unfortunate death of Reggie Lewis, this team has stunk for a long time keeping my hatred at bay. I had to funnel my hate in other directions which doesn't work as well. Its like hating the boyfriend of the girl who broke up with you, only she wasn't a good lay complained all the time and stuff was always your fault. Secretly your glad that dude is stuck with that problem now. So the Phillies or Braves will never measure up to the contempt I have for the Celtics. They took my hating virginity and then dumped me. I should never be watching them win with a blunt object or that TV is in severe jeopardy.
A couple years ago Danny Ainge pulled off the trade that saved his job and drove Isiah Thomas so crazy he started sexually harassing employees disrespecting his players and got himself a job at Florida International a college so irrelevant its basketball team just got beat by Lincoln High School by 30 points. I know Isiah will be locked away in a padded room in three years talking about "I gave McHale the better deal and Ainge should have his arms tucked in" Yet the new age Celtics were born and every body who likes basketball on the East Coast seems to have jumped on their bandwagon. Which off course makes me even sicker.
The bad thing about the whole experience is that I tried to like the new school Celtics at first. I would use them during video game battles, watch them and appreciate the way Garnett Allen and Pierce coexisted as one. Then something happened. Kendrick Perkins started thinking he was good and started popping smack. Then Eddie House a perennial journeyman who I thought next job would be delivering me food at a drive through window has the audacity to say something to anybody. At that point my world was finally set right again. It was like I seen that girl who took my virginity flirting with me then kicking me in the balls as we go up to the hotel room. I should have known better but with your friends in your ear you always think you can give things a second chance. Well that second chance ended with Kendrick Perkins, who is one knee injury away from telling me I can't get in the club with these shoes on, popping smack.

So I thank you Kendrick and Eddie for making me realize who the Celtics really were. I think I am going to enjoy Orlando winning this series and finally shutting up these New York fans who root for the Celtics. That still makes me cringe every time I see or hear it. Not quite the drinking bleach cringing but I probably will swallow some thumbtacks. Aw well here is a drink to a loss in Game 2 Au Revoure Celtic lovers.