These 4 Walls they surround me

Sorry Non Gangster lovers, I haven't been given you a CNN like track of my life recently but it has gone into technical difficulties due to a cyclical recurrence of a disease other then the swine flu. Even though this disease is known to result in severe over panic,worry and concern, rest assured it has actually merited these extremes unlike that other disease which has only manipulated into allowing the release of 20 terrorists amongst our prison population. Personally I like the idea because you would now only have to worry about a phone check but a suicide bombing phone check and it would give the terrorists the liberty to create designs in there beard to indicate what side of Afghanistan they are repping. Yes Yes I know it may sound racists but all of the people I have talked about just took my money when i bought this 40 oz of death. Oh and the disease that I have been afflicted with is non other then that wonderful beautiful version of cheer and glee: DEPRESSION.
Yes depression hits us all especially us non gangsters. How are we supposed to survive without hustling and basketball? I wish I was really joking but when finances get tight, creditors start calling you by the name your mama nicknamed you and the landlord only refers to you by the affectionate title of ASSHOLE, you start to really question why you go to work everyday then try to make people laugh. To take that lonely trip home and then get denied the nookie by your girl. Aah the good times of coming home at 2 in the morning every night. Then it all becomes a repetitive vicious circle. Its draining taxing and question do you really have any talent or a purpose to be here but the dangerous side is when you have this convo with no second opinion. That's when thoughts blacken out more then the NBA during the 90's(Shout out to J-L Caulvin on an intelligent look on the decline of the white player in the NBA click here ).
So what do you do then? You hit rock bottom you languish you don't want to be around no-one. Hopefully this only goes on for to days then you begin to smell like a combination of New Jersey and hot dog water(love the old school reference.). But the question is how do you bounce out of it.
My family talked to me. They helped but i still wasn't ready to go through fighting day to day. My God brother helped me but still just was really out of it. I had a strong base behind me but was letting my depression crack through it all. It wasn't until I actually seen the smile on my Godson face that I realized that I wanted to see him grow up and live his life. I wanted to make his life as wonderful as he made mine for the last two years. Sometimes answers aren't in the clouds people. They are in the faces of those that really care for you, Especially the little ones. No exciting sign off just glad to still be alive.

In the Boxes

Good morning again Non Gangster lovers. Your favorite nonconformists is back at it. Fully bearded, without swag, ready to spread his message of individuality against a world predicated on dumbing everybody down and accepting everything without question. I think if it was up to the powers that be we would all watch Maury Povich and only talk about how much swagger we all have. Dam sounds like most people's lives I know already. I am feeling like a superhero right now, just without the big blockbuster movie about me, especially no tights(I think I would wear a hoody and sweatpants to save the world) or the reckless geek following. Come to think about it any following would be better then the one i have now.
What I've come to talk to y'all about today is a trend we all witness and experience that I just did. We tend to group every one in narrow boxes and we don't ever let them out. Two nights ago I did a gig for an audience of a whole other persuasion (white no need to hide identity in a blog, we need to keep it real) and I seen a comic before me go onstage and do his best Comic View impression. You Know y'all heard this before. "WHite people be whiling" Insert blanks for stereotypical joke here. The only thing was he was surprised when nobody laughed. He came off the stage saying I hate white people and only MY PEOPLE get me. Well if that is the truth the only people you are affiliated with like bad impressions of Eddie Griffin.

Its just these old Def Jam impressions seem so fake and stale to me. They are not real don't come from actual experiences just from what is expected of us. I call these the Flavor Of Love Reunion jokes because they come with alot of weave and La La Vasquez is hosting them but they are just doing it because that is there only way to get on TV. Just feel like if I don't call them out now we will hear alot worst in the future like For the Love of SouljaBoy Reunion jokes.
The crazy thing about it though is the white comediens I run into do the same thing. They think they can only do a Lower East Side hipster crowd and won't come outside of that white picket fence. Only a few accept the challenge of appealing to the masses and try both crowds.
Thats why I respect alot of new school comic who have taken the mantle and want to try to do more things other then the softshoe dance in front of their crowds. Yes that a racist term and they are welcome to call me Uncle Tom if they want to at this point I don't care. I just have to be real to me and disregard these boxes and leave these titles to the people they belong to. BUMS.
I am out like the Ghost of Rick Ross's Career

Hatred of A team

I don't know where it began, Maybe when i noticed that Larry Bird was quite possibly the ugliest person who ever existed or that a team with no dance team and just men bonding in the stands wasn't exactly the heterosexual experience I could follow, but throughout my life one thing has been made abundantly clear, I cannot and I repeat I cannot stand the Celtics in any shape form or fashion.
Fortunately through the help of Chris Ford, ML Carr and the unfortunate death of Reggie Lewis, this team has stunk for a long time keeping my hatred at bay. I had to funnel my hate in other directions which doesn't work as well. Its like hating the boyfriend of the girl who broke up with you, only she wasn't a good lay complained all the time and stuff was always your fault. Secretly your glad that dude is stuck with that problem now. So the Phillies or Braves will never measure up to the contempt I have for the Celtics. They took my hating virginity and then dumped me. I should never be watching them win with a blunt object or that TV is in severe jeopardy.
A couple years ago Danny Ainge pulled off the trade that saved his job and drove Isiah Thomas so crazy he started sexually harassing employees disrespecting his players and got himself a job at Florida International a college so irrelevant its basketball team just got beat by Lincoln High School by 30 points. I know Isiah will be locked away in a padded room in three years talking about "I gave McHale the better deal and Ainge should have his arms tucked in" Yet the new age Celtics were born and every body who likes basketball on the East Coast seems to have jumped on their bandwagon. Which off course makes me even sicker.
The bad thing about the whole experience is that I tried to like the new school Celtics at first. I would use them during video game battles, watch them and appreciate the way Garnett Allen and Pierce coexisted as one. Then something happened. Kendrick Perkins started thinking he was good and started popping smack. Then Eddie House a perennial journeyman who I thought next job would be delivering me food at a drive through window has the audacity to say something to anybody. At that point my world was finally set right again. It was like I seen that girl who took my virginity flirting with me then kicking me in the balls as we go up to the hotel room. I should have known better but with your friends in your ear you always think you can give things a second chance. Well that second chance ended with Kendrick Perkins, who is one knee injury away from telling me I can't get in the club with these shoes on, popping smack.

So I thank you Kendrick and Eddie for making me realize who the Celtics really were. I think I am going to enjoy Orlando winning this series and finally shutting up these New York fans who root for the Celtics. That still makes me cringe every time I see or hear it. Not quite the drinking bleach cringing but I probably will swallow some thumbtacks. Aw well here is a drink to a loss in Game 2 Au Revoure Celtic lovers.